The Bay Drive


When I moved from Nepal to San Francisco, almost a year back, I knew that it would be a beautiful journey with lots of opportunities and exploration. It was a new start, a new place and a new life that I was to begin. I missed my folks, my friends, my work, and most importantly the foundation that I started, the KTM DRIVE. I wasn’t sure how much of it would be possible from here, who would take care of it, how would the events be held, who would plan, manage the accounts. I was afraid if the kids whom I saw every month would slowly forget me because of the distance. I still wanted to have that connection with them the next time I was to meet. Most importantly I wanted to continue helping, spreading smiles, motivating others to be a part of giving and most importantly understand that there is no a particular time and age to help. I wasn’t sure how would I be able to help here, at the place I was moving to.

All of these were my assumptions, today The KTM Drive is running strong, the events are held every month. The team is energized as always, we get sponsors for our event, in fact the reach has increased, the kids are in touch through emails, letters, and video call at times. And as for me, we just had our second event yesterday wherein we gave the hygiene kits to the homeless people at St. James Park, San Jose. The situation of homelessness, specially in the Bay area, is rampant. It is overwhelming to understand this topic. As much as I am getting deeper, into knowing more because of my work each day, I am being introduced to something new. Listening to the stories yesterday, I never thought that one incident in the life of an individual can make them homeless. These incidents can and does happen every day. This is so different to the place where one is born poor and this is what I have seen for years. Either way, there is a lot of help required, be it time, be it resources.There is so much to give and so much we can individually do.

If each one of us evolve from our comfort zone or come out from our “Own world” and try to make that difference in the smallest of ways, the community that we live will be a much better place for everyone. Sometimes it is not about quantifying the impact of what we do, but just being that light in someone experiencing a dark day.

I am glad I met some like-minded people and we have started the Bay Drive here.  We conducted two events in the past ten months. Everything just worked out fine, and I am happy I can plan these events here. Excited to be doing more and creating that platform where people can come, participate, ideate, inspire, motivate and give back to the place that they live in:)


790 Days without you


As I sit down to write after long, the first thing that I want to express is how your presence is felt so strong. Not just me, but everyone around who thinks about you every single day. We all feel your presence guiding us in each step, really strong. Even if your physical presence is missing,  you are taking care of us and giving us that strength. The power of living each day and living every moment even when there is a void that can never be fulfilled. The capacity of understanding that there can be no tomorrow, and at the same time hoping for one. The belief that everything is temporary in this forever world.

The realization that we can lose the most important people in our life, and most importantly we could be the ones bidding goodbye. The latter part is denied by the majority of us. It is the same feeling that I always had when I visited the Pashupatinath temple. As a kid until 14th January 2017, I always saw many people at the Ghat, and never thought that I would be standing there. That is exactly what happened when I could do nothing but just be there for my Popsy. I just wanted to be there till the last, with him, trying to tell him that we were together in this and we still are. It is a strange feeling that hurts but I still want to remember because it was the last time that we saw you. We can never be prepared, but we can accept that the number of breath that we have in our life is destined and nothing can change that. Nothing can change the way we leave this world- be it by suffering from a disease, trying to breathe or a silent death. It will still hurt and there will be no healing, neither time nor change. When I see people wanting to leave this world, because they are very sick, I pacify myself, that you were at your favorite place, when you left us and healthy.

This chapter is that learning of life that can only be understood when one experiences it. But, I did not want to understand and learn all of this on the cost of losing you. I still want to try calling in the number which has been given to someone else, I still want to send those random messages calling you for the pasta treat, even if it wasn’t your favorite, I still want to play badminton in the garden. I still want to ask for permissions to travel and do the research for the ticket prices for the nth time. I know I will always be your big girl, but I still want to get pampered from you. I miss you.