Note to my best-est:*

You taught us how to lead a beautiful life,
While you were around, and even now, when you are not by our side,
You told us never to participate in a collide,
Even if situations go up and down, even if life takes us for a ride.

You were always an inspiration, a mentor,
With so much of hard work, never wanted to be senator,
You were the multi tasker, the perfectionist,
Training us for the small things since beginning.

With answers to most of our closed door,
Your nature would soothe, like sitting in front of the shore,
With connecting each one in the family tree,
You have been a Martyr for many, especially me.

Popsy, until today I feel the same, and I will not be surprised if I feel the same for years and years to come.There are still a lot of questions I have, and I wish you could give answers to them, as you would for every other simple thing that I would come to you with. There are couple of times that I sit on the wooden bench that you made at the garden wondering where you would be. There are moments that I wish; I could call you up to share the most random thought. There are seconds when I want to give you a call, so that you can fix the problems that happened because of my clumsiness. There are instants where I miss working on the smallest tasks that you would give me to finish and feel like a star when I could complete them for you. How I miss sending you random cheesy messages and see your reactions on them. How I miss the time, you would get angry on me, which would not last for more than a few hours. How I miss not seeing you by my side while taking the most important decisions of my life.  How I miss everything about you, and how I miss you Papa!

P.S:- I wish they had a phone out there. 

Day 181 Without you

One hundred and eighty one days have passed without meeting, seeing, talking to you. This seems just the start and I know that these numbers will keep rotating with time. The truth to all of this is that we will never see you at the most special day of ours, we will never be able to tell you about our achievements, we will never be able to bother you with all our random travel plans and we will never be able to hear your response to different situations. We try to be a little of what you were or do things your way, and each time while we do that, we realize how perfect you were.  I have never met someone like you yet, and I am sure the people who had the opportunity to converse with you will say the same.

As much as we miss you every single moment, there are times when I try reasoning out why, how, and what happened on 14th January 2017. It has been the longest six months of our lives, and when I think about it I have no answers to any of these. The feeling of losing a loved one can never be explained, if it happens suddenly, there is no time to understand and if a person is sick it gets really difficult to see them in that situation. Each scenario leaves us analyzing life and the uncertainties with it, makes us question the various connections we have with our closed ones, and wants us to know what our goal during our existence in this world is.

I am glad that you lived your life with simplicity making it an inspiration for all of us and left each one of us at the backyard of the house with good health. I remember how excited you would get seeing my messages about the places you could go to buy a cow for the house, and I cannot be more content that your last words were to be taking care of the cows. You loved being around them and were excited when they finally came home. You have been a hero, not just for me but for many, and made everyone around you realize how the one thing that we think we are in control of is not ours, that’s our breath. You have protected many like the army personnel and encouraged people to live their life to the fullest, to have that hope for tomorrow, even if we are not sure about it.

With all of this, I feel pleased to have spent twenty eight years of my life with you. I am happy that I was there with you past years of my life. I am blessed to be your daughter. I can’t thank God enough for the wonderful life you passed, the things the you did and the person you were.

P.S:- I wish I could teleport you right now and I still don’t like the feeling of Saturday coming.