Six degrees of separation:*

One of my earlier love blogs were on 5 reasons one should be in touch with their exes. The article convinced many on being in touch with their exes as there is so much that a relation has to offer even if one is not in a” love relationship” with the other person. Some denied and commented in saying one cannot be friends with people they have fallen in love with because if they still want to be around them then they should never let them leave from their lives.

Most of it depends on how break up has happened and this post is exclusively for
circumstances where there is a mutual understanding on the relation not moving forward forever. When there has been a bad breakup than the reasons for the differences is valid not be around that person. The difficulty is when one is still in love with that person and has to take decisions in regards of situations that each one is going through. This position arises after lot of thinking and positivity to carry on the relationship and if nothing works with time the individuals have to take the call of being out of each other’s lives. However weird and strange it gets, one needs to be strong after taking the choice. There are six degrees (pun intended) that one needs to follow for the separation. These could be for the shortest times but it is necessary.

  1. It is very hard not to talk to a person whom one has been sharing most of their life with but that is exactly what is needed. An attachment exists if one keeps talking about every day incidents, taking suggestions and being in touch. It is super complex if one has the same set of friends around and meetings are frequent. One needs to limit themselves totally from getting to know anything about the other one.
  2. There are habits and behaviors that one doesn’t like or approve which exist in the person that one is with. There are two things which can happen in course of being together, one is the person changing as the likes of another one and the next is both individuals adjust with each other as they are. The first one is less likely as people do not want to change who they are and want to be accepted on how they are. With time since one gets to know the other one very deeply, there could be reasons that one would not have appreciated if they were not in love. These reasons can help overcome a mutual transition.
  3. There have been fond memories in a relationship and remembering each moment does no good, rather accepting the change strongly and if the past is spoken about, a smile is what should define it all rather than conversing about it. The things that remind one of the other person should be taken as token of growing up in a relationship.
  4. One needs to meet new people and be open to new relations. There is no point comparing the past relationship and how the other one was to the people one will be meeting. Each person has its own charm and flaws that need not be judged and one should definitely give a chance to a new person who is interested to know more. Unless one meets other people with an open mind and as a single, the relation will never work out even if tried to.
  5. Keeping oneself occupied and busy is the main mantra. Since it’s said an ideal mind is a devils place that is exactly what happens when a person is breaking up. There are reasoning and wanting to get back again, giving it last tries. When one is the busiest, thoughts do not wander and there is a straight line that one follows. Since out of sight, out of a mind is a famous phrase, it surely works out for many, indulging in the activities that one loves should be the first goal.
  6. The most important rule is acceptance. Everything gets down to this one rule. One need to be sure in their mind that the relation is not going to work later and it is for a good reason. It does no good to anyone when mind is strong but heart is weak; which when given a chance will fall for the same person again. One needs to built a strong connection of mind and heart and make them follow the same path. There is no point on lingering around one decision for long.

Having said that, it isn’t just easy to write and not follow these. These are required to follow for a short term and one needs to have peace with the fact that the relation is no longer the same. Undoubtedly, the heart will have the same respect and love even after many years because there is a reason one has been with that person for the longest time and at times love requires one to let go forever.

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