I wanted to write an article on this since so long, the longest I have remembered, and finally here it is. I have read quite a few of bloggers addressing letters to the society and how they feel about tying the knot. Here goes my observation towards the torture in the process of finding a guy.
We cannot really differentiate the process of finding a perfect match (If not perfect, close to ideal) in the society in terms of background especially in the Asian countries. It is the same everywhere. Once you are in that age group of completing one quarter of your life, the perception of you growing up starts changing drastically. Your parents feel that it’s an obligation to look out for a groom/ bride for their child. Since grandparents are little free, the only talk that they can have with their relatives or anyone that they meet is to search for a good family that they can start a new relationship with. So in short I am sure you have an idea of what this piece is going to be and I am sure there would be many who would share the same feeling.
“What do our parents think?”
They know us pretty well, and want what is best for each one of us. They are happy with the job that we are in or what so ever that we are doing, are proud of making us independent ones with the area that we excel in. It is more of the societal norms and family pressure that they drift away from their thinking process. They get stuck between taking a decision on supporting their kids or listening to their elders. They would love to find the one for her/him and would agree if our choice is a gem of a person.
“What do we think?”
We are trying to figure out where we belong, and what is our next step. Very confused with the path that we have chosen, and wanting immediate results on our career, we are dreaming big and wanting each one of it to come to reality. We are longing for support from everyone around us and hoping that they would understand how screwed can things get and the situations we are in. Nothing seems to be sure – the relationship, demanding profession, the switch from one job to another, we really do not want the burden of finding the person, because there are so many other things in life than getting married and we might have found ourselves. We totally understand how tying the knot is a beautiful bond but then why do we hurry, if we are not up for it. What is the point of dragging into it?
“What do our elders think?”
This is the right time or else it would be too late. So get on the hunt, find a nicer person and get them hooked. The seek out can go far ahead where you are being talked about to the people who have no freaking idea of how you are and what you do, what kind of a person that you are. They would look out for a nice family and how many connections do they have with that family and one of the utmost works (or should I say the only work) in their life is to bless you on your wedding day.
“What do strangers want?”
I so wonder, how people can be so inquisitive about others life. How does it really matter or why would they really want to know every detail about things not associated with them to the slightest. Attending the social gatherings, weddings are a scare for mid twenties as it feels that you are being the next target on the next topic. How conveniently they match two individuals when not having a clue what they want.
As I was describing how it works to a friend from Washington, he could not stop laughing the idea of arrange marriage. He was so amazed to hear that a portfolio is made of the perspective eligible bachelor and it is sent across the family. The search goes on and when couple of mutual friend on Facebook are contacted to know how the person is and some more information collected. Half of it might not be real because each one of us has so many dark secrets. Analysed and shortlisted, it is finally time to meet the person. The elders meet the boy and once they think he is a good choice the girl and boy meet and then it remains history. It is such a lengthy process, the tradition which has been going on forever.
P.S:: With this revolution, just give them some time as they know what they want from their life and what is best for them and the people around. Relationship cannot be forced into, it just comes from within. This leads to a