On eighth of March, all our posts, messages start with celebration of Women’s day. I am sure if we are not in the habit of forwarding messages, we might have gotten one in the different groups that we are on the social media, be it WhatsApp, Viber, Facebook. The quotes shared are strong and the messages are beautiful. There is depth in the words and as we read, there is a different level of accolade in our minds. Some of us tend to ignore it while some of us love the fact that we celebrate this day and some of us are happy that it is a public holiday, a day off from work.

It is interesting to see various campaigns and events happening around different parts of the world but at the same time there are so many instances wherein we withhold women. It could be towards their right, on their thoughts and opinion, on their freedom. Some examples that I am going to list could be the ones that I have seen around me, in the Asian society, but these still prevail.

The fact that the family should have a boy child is prevalent in many homes and the daughter in law if not pressurized for another child, are still not spoken well of. Instead of rejoicing the capability of bearing a child and taking care of it for nine months in the womb, we are still under the impression that the girl child is ultimately going to leave the house and there would be no one to carry forward the family tree. Why cannot the daughters in the family lead it? This is during birth, the same perception lies when a person dies. How sons are accounted for during many rituals, and these are by default. It is heart – wrenching to know that daughters are not allowed during the last rites of their father, let go the scenario of doing it by themselves. How different does the society, treat a boy and a girl, of the person who loved them equally.

Similarly, the differentiation in attire, every day attributes that a women goes through when she is married and when she loses, her spouse is not correct. Her marital status should not affect the participation in the ceremonies, the respect, the inclusion on different other activities in the social order. This is where we need to change completely, not just with our views but also with our voice. We cannot count on how things were happening, and let our opinions disappear. We should be that change that we talk about, especially from the day we celebrate us, celebrate every women who are around us, be it our teacher from school, our moms, our sister in laws, or a stranger who is an innocent little girl waiting to be the fierce yet calm woman someday.

I agree men and women are different in many ways, and there is no debate about it, but we really need to buckle up, just not with our words or thoughts but our everyday actions to salute women every single day. Let them know that they are the best supermoms, and the way they take care of everything being so selfless is beautiful.

As I roll my month calendar, as I think about the days spent, I am surprised that two months of 2018 is over. While giving it a thought, there were numerous things that happened past two months, yet I feel that the time just flew by and I cannot quantify my actions. I am sure most of us feel the same and in no time, we will be ready to welcome 2019, without even looking back and analyzing the past year. While we question our schedule and time, do we value time in true sense?

We think that we are being productive and making the most of time, but we need to understand that there is more than being in the present, there is more than just showing up. Easier said than done, is why we must practice, many aspects of strongly being in present. We must not be obsessed with having things go other than the way they are going. We need to let things be and it will resolve itself. Life happens. What we do not want to do is spoil this moment worrying about that moment. This way everyone loses, and most importantly, time is lost.

We should also appreciate what time makes us do, and how strong we become in some situations that we had never thought of. We could have a different approach to various circumstances and each attitude being ours, reflected according to the phase in life we are at. It is super interesting to observe the same person responding to similar situation in different ways. I feel the biggest continuous challenge that we are facing is the time. It has rewards and scores for our life in its own way but the sad bit is, it cannot be repeated once attempted. If we follow this mantra very actively in our day-to-day life, we might make our choices differently.

In addition, we need to realize that the time for us as humans is short, shorter than we imagine it to be. Our journey of life is going to be so different if we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary which on the bigger picture will matter by the end. What will matter is the joy that comes to us in ordinary moments.

They had the silence talk,

Each day during their walk,

The evening breeze and the fresh air,

Made interesting conversations for the pair.

They had a wonderful chemistry,

For others it would seem like a mystery,

One loved gardening and recycled everything old,

The other enjoyed eating peanuts together, when it got cold.

Their love was unconditional and pure,

The journey of thirty years felt near,

As they were always a call away,

This time it was different, no other way.

What are left is memories to smile on,

There is no measure on how you feel mom,

He misses and wants to meet you more than you do,

Wishes he could be back to say those last words he wanted to.

 A reader had asked me to write on this topic many months back. I was procrastinating on the same since a long time. The delay was because of two reasons. Firstly, it would require me to time travel to a future me and secondly this blog was not going to be a normal one. It needed enough introspection and self-examination. Not to adieu further, the subject matter was a eulogy. A part of it could include the moments that I would cherish when I am at the last threshold of my life.

It needed a lot of rationalizing and thinking. There are some things that I have completed, and some, which are happening now, while some are in plan.  It was difficult to assume on what will happen in half a century, what all situations will I be going through but most importantly is the question, will I be alive or not till the time that I am thinking of writing an eulogy for. Will my existence be as healthy as I imagine it to be? What would be the ideal summary of my life?

As I recap my life at the last minute of my existence, I would love to write a eulogy for myself as of today. I am ready for one, as I have been doing the things that I love each day, in some or the other form. The beauty of it has always been that nature of mine, which keeps thinking what if today being the last day of my life, how I would want to live.  This is a strange yet blissful feeling. Since we all know how life is unpredictable, there is no harm in believing in it strongly.

So, instead of writing after years to come, let me write the circumstances that I have cherished as of today. The most important one in my life would be the times I have inspired, helped and my presence as a whole has made an impact in others life. It could be because of a few words, or a smile, or could be a long ended conversation.  I would cherish the constancy that I have for different hobbies and interests. I would treasure being happy in the smallest pleasures of life. I love the fact that there is a small world in my mind, which is chill about any situation that comes in life. The heart, which does not stop dreaming and keeps that spark alive, the mind, which always has a gratitude note. Overall, I appreciate who I am, what I believe and aspire to become, a good human being. I value that I have understood the broader importance of my presence in the universe. Lastly, this would not have been possible without the continuous support of friends and family. So blessed with these amazing souls in my life.

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”
― Bruce Lee

Can you relate to this quote? Do you think that we as humans expect a lot? Do you think that learning to accept than to expect will leave us with few disappointments? Do you think that living without any expectation is possible? Do you also think that we expect from our near ones and not from strangers? Do you think keeping an expectation on ourselves is healthy?

All these thoughts came to my mind, as I was doing a show on radio on expectation. While I was talking about this line, “Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed”, it made me realize that the quotes on expectations are mere words, and it is not practical to implement them in everyday life. The human nature does not permit us not to expect. We do and will expect, no matter how much we discuss over it.  The nature to expect is rooted in us because of the way we have been raised. The level only increases as we stay around people and we live in a society.

We expect a stranger to be in a good behavior as much as we expect the person that we have hired for a service. These are two different situations. One that we do not encounter on an everyday basis and the other one is when the individual is bound to finish work. Our level of expectation might be different but we do expect.

We not only expect from a situation or people around us but our careers too. Imagine a scenario when you have worked hard, you would expect to be appreciated in the office. Expectations when fulfilled is a win- win situation for both parties. The only problem that comes is when people do not have the slightest idea of what they are expected of. Some individuals work to their best to fulfill the expectations of their seniors while some just work without any expectation, though, it is always nice to receive when you are not expecting.

While we discuss, we expect that the sapling that we have planted grow to be a big nice tree. We expect from ourselves, we challenge ourselves in many situations. There can be no two ways about expectation but the level of it can be lesser or more. Even saints expects us to follow their preaching. Their expectation is a bit different. They want people to follow their learning and the return here is not for themselves, but they do expect.

No matter how much we think not to expect, we just can’t help it but expect a lot from people around.

 

I overheard a conversation while waiting for my turn at the salon. Those ten minutes of talk got many questions in my mind. You all must be wondering what was the chat about and why was I interested. Firstly, I could not stop myself from eavesdropping because they were very loud; secondly, I had forgotten my earphones and thus, could not listen to music. Irrespective of that, the thought that got me thinking since yesterday was why are people not happy with the beautiful life they are blessed? How hard is it to cherish what they have? Why do they crib about moments when so much be done in 24 hours?

The beauty of life are the challenges that we face every day and handling different conditions. Isn’t it? Then, why was the woman who was in her mid-thirties so miserable that she thought there was no point in living? Why did she sound so sad? Why was it a problem for her to be taking care of her house and her own children? Had she forgotten that she was once a child and taken care of? Does she not need food to survive that she detest cooking for her family?  What I analyzed from the whole scenario was that, these were not problems of life. At least, not the ones that one could crib for 15 minutes straight. There was negative space and I marveled how many people might be in that space as of today? This was just one person’s reflection on life; there might be many others like her.

Have we forgotten the amazing people around us that we call family and friends? Do we not realize that we have a body perfectly functioning? Do we not value the principles and values that we have embedded? Why are people adverse and pessimist about circumstances? Why do humans blame others for the decisions that they have made in their life? Everyone has difficulties and each individual goes through a rough patch, and sometimes, least expected. There is a solution for situations and the responsibility of finding the answer is on us. If it is not under our control, the best remedy is to leave it to fate. We can be happy that we tried our best to make the best of what we had.

Fortunate are the ones blessed with good health and wealth. If you are ever in that space, think about people who do not either have them, or have only one out of both. Think about the little kid, who plays carom and has that smile on his face, when both his hands have been lost because of electrocution. Think about that little girl who has never seen her parents, and does not know when she was born.

There are many complications, but we have the power to amend it. We need to get our magic started, as we are the magician for our own life.

P.S:- I think a lot of my positivism, happiness and understanding of life has come from THE KTM DRIVE.

All of us grew to the saying “Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy and wise”. The first set of saying is very hard to follow by this generation; while many concentrate on the second part, which is being healthy. It is never too late to be mindful of being healthy.

Being fit and healthy is not only an hour of workout but also the impact of the food that we intake in the entire day. The number of calories that we consume is very important and so is the portion that we eat and the time of eating.

Working out is not only about losing weight, but it is about gaining strength, endurance and stamina. Being involved in a physical activity for more than five years, until now, I feel rejuvenated each day after an hour of intense exercise. The body feels light and it is the best way to start my day. Undoubtedly, it is a pain getting up in the mornings to exercise, but the result after an hour is worth it. Nothing better than a good morning workout to begin a refreshing day.

The workout could be anything that your body enjoys, could be a sport that one loves, or a new game that one wants to learn or it could be a combination of cardio and weights at the gymnasium. Some people run, some do Yoga, Pilates while some stay pumped up by taking up an aerobics class or Zumba. I think we owe some form of exercise to our body; it could be as lesser as fifteen minutes every day.

If we are trying to reduce weight, we need to burn more amount of calories then we are consuming, which means heavy workout sessions. One of the best workout form is kickboxing, and one of the best trainers that I have met is Eezy. The dedication for his trainees, the style of teaching, and the consistency of the level of workout is remarkable. He pushes one to the limit that one cannot imagine and the mixture of different combinations in an hour does not make the workout monotonous. There is a slight change in the form of exercise every day.

“One need not require fancy equipment’s in a gymnasium; rather the motivation is what is needed.” I like his saying and I have experienced this by myself. Using the staircase for pull-ups, chairs for power squats, he loves making the most of the things that is around. He also quotes that “People pay to eat more food with calories, and pay double to lose weight”. This is an irony that all of us are living with.

If you have been procrastinating that walk, or working out because of the cold, challenge yourself and you might just be surprised on how far you can go.

We were having a discussion on birthdays and the topic led to how celebrating dates are the most important. Some did not care about the dates while, planning for the same was vital for others. All the discussion led to the conclusion that rejoicing did happen in yester years too but with time, the thought behind the celebration has changed. Some prefer calling thousands of people for their kid’s birthday while some do not like the idea of the gathering as it only gets tiring for the child. Some love lavish anniversary parties, while some love celebrating the love amongst them. Having said that, the ways of merriment has always been a personal preference, one celebrates it as, and how they want.

Some would love all the pampering and attention and some would not care if they were wished on the special day or not. The nature of women, in particular, love the feeling of festivity on the day of their birth.  It is special when others put a lot of energy to make their day extraordinary. The same perception might not be true for men.

While there are, many days and dates that one needs to remember, be it anniversaries, birthdays, many of us do not leave an opportunity to party.  There are many who want to celebrate their day with the underprivileged and share happiness with them. That is a noble idea while some have debated that this only makes the children miss all the privileges that they are not blessed with.

We need to understand that the short – term enjoyment is not making the less privileged kids miserable. The intention should be right and that is what matters. There could be another approach to this, which is called a shared birthday, wherein one makes merry on their birthday along with celebrating the birthday of all the kids, or finding a child whose birthday falls on the same date. Celebrating both their birthdays together is a win-win situation for both.

My personal experience on this: – Since couple of years, a part of my day on birthday has, been spent on the act of giving. It could be at the old age home or with the differently able kids or giving out Rs.500 to the people who have a hard time; earning Rs.500 in a day. This time I thought of celebrating it with the kids at Chahari. When I reached, I asked these 15 girls when their birthday was, many of them did not know when they were born. So what we did was,  celebrate the day with them as they sang the birthday song and wished themselves. It was such a special feeling when they sang: – HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME~

~And as we wish for our birthdays, I hope all their wishes come true~

Birthdays have always been special; it is another day to make us realize where we are in life, an introspection to our beautiful journey until date and yet another chance to fulfill our resolutions and crazy ideas that we have had for the year. Turning another year older is marked beautifully, as we turn sixteen or twenty-five, and with time, the numbering of oneself in every point making us anxious.  As much as we do not like it, time does pass by and in no time, our next birthday is back again.

Having gone through the most difficult phase of my life at the start of this year, to be losing the most important person in my life, my superhero, I am proud of what situations has molded me to become and what I am today.

With many years of experience in various fields, and doing the things I love doing, I have realized how satisfactory and content my heart is. Believing that there is no tomorrow (in terms of following ones dreams, it would not be bad in literal sense too, as I have experienced it) has made me experiment so many things.

The switch from numbers to the creative side has been great, so has the solo trip to Scotland. That trip gave me different outlook towards life. It was the best feeling ever. The writings have helped me express my thoughts and nothing better than words read by the world when put out. I still feel happy reading my published articles as I did on the first day. Early morning radio shows has been the best antidote and there are moments when I still get jitters before I am starting the show. All this has led to start a podcast named castmandu.com.  Taking every chance to make a travel series has made the channel “Travel with Shikha” reach up to 150 videos and the wanderlust in me still dreams and hopes to be travel host some day.

Crossing of ten adventure sports on my list has always made me want for more. The remaining added to my PLAYBOOK. Learning different sports has made me try my hands on kickboxing and squash. The starting of KTM Drive(www.ktmdrive.com) has been one of the greatest feat, the hundred events have been amazingly perfect and when I look back at the pictures and the memories with thousands of lives that have been touched I feel so gratified.

The very difficult challenge in all of this was to be consistent. None of this has happened speedily, I still remember sending articles for months and after a year, one published. How can I forget the time I realized I did not want to deal in numbers forever in my life? I was not sure of what I wanted but I knew what I did not. The travel videos started with phone cameras, with zero editing; now it has become much better, with fun content.  The permission for all the travels and rounds of discussions and planning to explore a new place were not that easy, these memories are etched in my heart. For the best experience with KTM Drive, it started with giving out free tree saplings, an idea thought over a cup of coffee has come to a project called #teachwithktmdrive.

I was so scared of death, as most of us are. I am blessed that I got the strength to see the last of my favorite man, as I did his last rites. I am happy to be around so many wonderful people in my life, who make the voyage even more interesting,

With this, there are so many stories shared, lessons learnt, mistakes made. There were decisions taken after sleepless nights, the ones that did not matter after five years, some taken at the spur of the moment. All of this has worked out perfectly well as I start the new era of my life at a new destination in the best companionship.

 ~Life can be capricious, grab the opportunity that you get, execute the ideas that is on your mind and never wait for the right time, because this is the time, which is RIGHT~