As I entered the café during my weekend I read a quote which said: – It’s not about “HAVING” time, it’s about “MAKING” time. This quote made me think about how many of us do not value time. Some procrastinate jobs and leave it for latter moment in life and some fail on time management. This delays tasks than we have imagined and the deadline for doing a particular work keeps elongating.

How are we so busy? What is the main factor that is killing the management of time? How can twenty-four hours in a day seem so short? How can a person be involved in five different things of his/ her interest in an entire day with focus? The partial answer to all of these question is the usage of phone. The average use of the phone is five hours in a day, which is roughly one third of total waking hours. Now one would question on how many times does an individual check their phone every day. If one estimates 50 times they need to double it up, that is when one might be getting close. These are all habits and programmed behavior that we have no alertness of. There are certain short term activities of 30 seconds while some spend hours while they were only checking if there was a message in their phone.

We don’t realize how minutes become thirty and there is least productivity that has happened. It not only impairs attention and memory but also reduces sleep quality. Most of our moment in the day is spent on the mobile phone, whether we are with people, whether we are enjoying a good meal at the restaurant. We have become so mobile that we have forgotten to be present in the moment.

The statistics says that 57% people do not need an alarm clock, and 50% people no longer wear watches. With the smartphones offering everything that is required on an everyday basis, the time spent on mobile phones will only increase. I wish we could reduce the time spent on mobile phone to the minimum as we spent 23 days in a year on the phone. I wonder how many years of our time will we spent on phones in the decade to come?

So let’s do ourselves a favor and try to unplug from that tiny little screen for a bit. We may be amazed at how much more we can accomplish with an extra few undistracted hours in our day.

We all know life is uncertain yet we fail to accept it fully. It is clear that anything can happen any moment in time, yet we chase after the material pleasures ignoring the simplest things in life. Many say life is complicated and confusing but when we give a thought with an open mind, it is pretty clear. Each one of us have different motive towards life. Some want to gain wealth, while some want to be famous and known. All of this leads to the most important thing that is happiness that we all live for.

It is strange how our curriculum of education has forgotten the most significant factors of life. They hardly focus on teaching students to do what they love to do which in return gives the child happiness. They do not explain how beautiful the nature is that they are blessed with.  They do not state how important breathing is and they should value every second of it. They forget that happiness can be found in the smallest of things instead they are pressurized to score better and excel in academics. This race does not get over in school but goes on throughout one’s life time. Many students stress over the placement in college, and when that is over, their worry is the deadline and performance for higher recognition and promotions. This might result in long time hours at work and one failing to balance between work and personal life. We tend to forget that our ultimate motto is and always has been happiness.

There are very few people who follow what they love to do or who are satisfied with what they have been doing. There is always a want for more and this never ends. That could be the reason that the entire focus of life becomes work for an individual one point in time. Apart from work, there are hundreds of different things that one keeps thinking on and worrying about. There are many responsibilities and duties one needs to fulfill with the passage of time. The quality of life can be determined when one enjoys their time while doing so.

We should realize that with these the days will pass by, so will years, and in no time we will be almost on the latter part of our life. Only if we are lucky and if our destiny permits, we will get the time to experience the different phases of life, if not we would not even know when it will get over. I am sure while reading this piece, the realization of how short our life is and the thought of what we can do to make it happier is at the highest level. The thought of how we have been missing out on the basics that we have been honored with must be revolving.

Alas, the sad part of this is that the thought stays for the least amount of time and we forget the words “Life is uncertain, and we need to live it to the most”. We forget that this is the reality that we have been overlooking when we are literally not sure about the next second in our day.

When you lose someone, who is a part of who you are, they say time will heal, but I guess no amount of time can erase the healing. This is something I have been experiencing each day. With every day, him not being amongst us is sinking in and the fact that we will never see him again keeps coming time and again. This does not mean that we are in denial of what happened suddenly on 14^th January 2017, my dad whom I was talking to and chilling with the previous night, went apart from our lives forever. As we say forever is a strong word, facing it is more tough.

It was too soon for the almighty to call him back to where we all belong. The understanding of how the universe and a life of a mankind works is really difficult to comprehend. Even if one does try, and accepts the reality, keeping that awareness and being positive of everything happening for a good reason does not seem true in this case. This is not for the selfishness of the relation that each one of us had or seeing that void in each one of our lives now, but the unconditional love that we had for each other.

There are many instances in the day where I remember what he would say for a particular situation, or his reactions. There are many a times when I want to share the smallest detail of the day and sit around teaching him something on the gadget, or call him up, or let him know that I have boarded the plane for my next destination. I want to leave messages to him when I land safely in a new country which was the first thing I would do and I still do, but the only difference is I miss the reply “OK”. I know I am never getting any but I feel calmed when I send him one. My mom says, “Life feels like a dream and the next chapter is the one where we are today, when we get up and experience what has happened but can never get those moments back”. I feel the same, and reminds me of the movie Inception.

While I saw my dad this morning in my dreams for the first time, I did not want to let him go because it was so real. I was so excited seeing him like a kid is when they see their favorite candy in the store. We had a conversation for a minute and when I woke up, I wanted to go off to sleep again because I wanted more of him, I wanted more of my Popsy!

There are lot of relations that we have during our entire life span. It starts with the connect of a mother with her baby for entire nine months, even before the child steps into the planet earth. Then comes the bond of nervous daddy, excited grandparents, thrilled uncle and aunts, and an elder brother or sister’s game to play with. These relations are made from heaven and is a part of our destiny.

As the kid grows up, he/she tries associating himself/herself with the nearest members of the family, especially someone the child sees every day. With time and in few months, the kid starts talking and becoming everyone’s attention in the family. As year passes, the teenage boy/ girl starts making new relations. They choose the people they want to be with. Many people come and go in their lives in the course from school till college. Some memories of theirs stay very close to heart and some fade with time. Decades after comes the phase when they choose to be with that someone special forever and tie the knot. With the celebration of years of togetherness, there is a little star in their lives. This is another important relation for them as they treasure it with their heart because it is one of them. This is a vicious cycle which never seems to end but the irony here is how the importance of a person changes in one’s life.

When they are toddlers, they cannot live without their parents, as they grow, they cannot imagine not talking to their best friend before sleeping. They are spending most amount of time in school and being around friends. The time spent with their parents reduces as they get busy with office work or the last coffee treat. How can the hours of talking to their beloved be forgotten? How can an individual not have a moment to converse as they are busy with other activities? For many parents, the love towards their better half goes to the newest member to the family. For many, office life does not permit them to spend personal time with family.

While some of us network and socialize so much that we hardly give time to the people for whom we were the most treasured one. We take relations for granted. It is so easy for us as individuals to be distracted and we fail to know our priorities. We need to select and give time to each relation, which is the supreme connection. If not, it might be too late to understand the value of a relation and most of us recognize it while we are on the receiving end.

I look at my nephew, who makes all sorts of noises and is playing with whatever that is coming to his hand, I feel entertained. The time just passes by quickly as we play with him and I see him try to walk. As he takes one step after the other, he has no idea how to balance, where is he going to, yet still walks with all the hope and faith that everything will just be fine.

As I see him I envy how carefree children are with their nature and I am sure lot of us feel the same. The relaxed mood of theirs throughout puts a smile to our face, the energy and enthusiasm that they have surely keeps us upbeat. After a really tiring day, nothing is better than observing the innocent act that a kid has. It’s amazing to see how they keep laughing and enjoying the little things that surround them.

The past month has gotten me thinking on various thoughts and one of them surely being how our life is unpredictable. Since all of us are aware of the fact that we have to leave this world one day, and we do not know when, why don’t we make a written note for the people whom we leave behind. It could be on the rituals that is carried on for us when we are no more.

The irony here is how we are made to believe that the body is never ours, and at the same time, there are many procedures that are conducted in the name of the body. The strange bit is the time when those few moments of our body is in someone else’s control and the decision of what, how should things be carried on is taken by someone else.
It is amusing how fast we remove the physical presence of an individual after their last breath. Does their bond which was for half a century become negligible? Do their relationships suddenly comes down to zero? This shows how an existence of a person is significant.
While I write this I want to write a note to the people for the do’s and dont’s that should be done after I am no longer in this world.
The first one definitely being taking care of oneself and being strong and not asking question to the many whys that we usually have. I would request everyone who know me to take some time out and remember the fond memories we had and how our relationship grew with time. The next one would be not to hurry to put my body away.
I would love to give my eyes away to someone who could see through mine , which I would be registering in no time, so wait for that. Also, please do not print condolence message on a newspaper as its a waste, rather use that money for doing some good. Also, my karma will decide where I will reach, heaven or hell, and this will already be accumulated how I have led my life. So please do not give any offerings specially gold and expensive things on my name. If you want to give something, you could do that yourself. Do not forget me too soon, I might be out of sight, but I will always be in your hearts with fond memories.
Lastly, I try living everyday as my last, and still hoping for tomorrow and I think each individual should do the same. Express, say what you feel like, do what you love. There’s no point stressing over stuff because in the bigger picture our life is way way too short than we can think of.

Dear Popsy,

I will always remember how you thought birthdays was just a day, and how we had to
remind you that it was your birthday. I remember as little kids we gave you a birthday card which was dated “till eternity” and you smiled saying that you girls don’t have to get me a card every year now. I remember how you would have reservations to our requests for travel at first, but ultimately agree to it especially when the little one would ask. I remember how you would go out to the nursery on Saturdays, get something or the other changed in the garden and take care of the minutest things in the house. I remember how you would ask us to take care the next time when we made an error, how you would tell us that any work could be done at ease. I remember how you would come pick me up from work when I would not realize that I did not have any conveyance to get back but you remembered. I cannot forget how you wrote the same letter in different years of my college, but with a new date. I still recall how you found my mails and messages extra expressive and how you would get our requests on anything and everything fulfilled in no time. I still want to see you when I enter the house, and share with you the latest stories. I want to tell you on what combinations to wear and help you with your phone. I want to play a game of Ludo again with you. I want to make your favorite snack (Onion Pakodas) and ask for permissions to being late again. I want you to decide if mom’s consent is going to be enough for my weekend plan.

Even if I want to do so many things and tell you so much, you are not around, but here we
are trying to follow your values and the learning’s that you left us with. You led the fifty five years of your life with so much dedication, discipline, contentment and simplicity.

I have never met a person so content who would think no place was better than home (The resort being right here), someone who did not fancy expensive accessories believing that the time can be seen from any watch. An individual who was the favorite of everyone from the family (Watching south Indian movies with the naughtiest one and his frequent visits to the airport) to anyone who knew him, it has been an honor of knowing someone so wonderful and gentle at heart.

We are blessed to be your daughter. “Happy Birthday Papa”.

P.S:- I feel the act of giving in me, has been inspired by you, and you always gave the love and support, today we gave out 56 shawls on the streets around K-town.

The number of questions that I have been asking about life is being answered. Some are very complicated to understand while some are pretty simple. After getting some answers, the fact that I have accepted is that we will never be able to see the person who has left us behind but they will always be around us guiding in each step of our lives. It’s the reading of The Bhagwat Geeta that many queries have been solved. The most amusing bit is the understanding of these readings lasts for a few hours and then the mind goes back to square one. There are many more thoughts that keep coming one after the other which has no end.

I know that the vicious circle of life and death will exist forever and there is no denying on it. The words “Life is unpredictable” is true and it has given us a reality check on anything happening anytime in our lives. Even after realizing this every moment, there is nothing much that can be done, other than to follow our dreams, pursue what we have been thinking of, and not keeping any work for tomorrow.

To think on all of this in a broader sense, a friend of mine had a question which was: – everything that we aim to be or do cannot happen instantly, and what if we are no longer alive in the process. I could relate to this instantly and while giving it a thought I think the answer to this would be that we should not procrastinate our dreams because none of us know when our last breath is scheduled for other than the almighty.

While writing this, I think about the sudden incident that happened before three weeks, which has left all of us in shock. The fact that we are attached with so many people in our lives and the fear of losing any one of them is terrifying. The scariest bit is us not knowing when it will happen and how. I feel there is no preparation for these, but at the same time, there has to be some level of awareness that each one of us has which we tend to ignore.

The understanding of The Bhagwad Geeta where it is said that the relation with the superpower is what each one should have seems to be straight forward. After knowing all of this and understanding the end is going to be the same for each one of us, the question that rises is why do we have the whole world connected with each other, societies formed and relations getting stronger? Is it going to be this hard each time when someone leaves us or we leave this world? What is the end result of the attachment of ours with our closed ones and why is the universe created when everyone has to bid goodbye forever?

It’s been more than two weeks, that I haven’t heard, seen or met Papa. I feel he is gone for a long vacation and I want to believe the same for the rest of my life. I am not in denial but I am not ready to make his talks and the way he was a memory. I am not ready to recall that his last day was 14.01.2017 despite the fact that I recently saw his signatures on some documents dated after mid January. He surely did not know and had no idea that he would not be coming back home after that Saturday morning.

There are many who say, time is the healer, but I think there is no moving on, neither is there any healing in this situation because everything, everything I do, or wherever I be, reminds me of him. While I have been visiting banks and embassies for further procedures, it reminds me of visiting these places with him and he guiding us for whatever needed to be done. I know he will be mentoring us throughout and will be around each time but at the same time I want to share the smallest detail that has happened during the day.

This upturn in my life has made me accept and realize lot of things once again. The first one being importance of joint families and blessed are people who have one. I have always known that one person cannot run around for everything, and it’s highly impossible to be doing it but lately it has made me accept how significant it is to be at the same town. The next one being we are not our life’s decision maker in a broader sense, as we would not know what is happening in the next few seconds of our life. Lastly, we need to keep reiterating that we as individuals come in this world empty handed and leave with nothing, not even our own body (which means birth and death are two different equations) so why do we battle to be on top, fight for money among our closest, and crib for smallest things that do not happen in life.

With all of this, as I am trying to adapt papa’s perfectness in whatever I have been doing, I am amazed to get to know how organized he was, and the secret quality of my multi tasking came from him.

It’s been four years since I have been writing, and something which started as penning down in a diary, made me get a domain for myself:- shikhabahety.com. It has been a great ride since then and I have loved writing. It helps me express, emote and when I think about it, I would suggest each one to get in the practice of writing. There is nothing better than words. I have written about random topics, about conversations that I have with a friend, about things that I bypass every day, the new places that I have explored, basically anything and everything.

Writing has always given me strength, power and inner peace. I have been writing every single day since a week, and I feel so much lighter. The day I don’t write I think that I am missing something from my daily routine. There is so much to write about, every situation can be made into a writing topic. It’s the discipline that one needs to have to be writing continuously. Since last year, I have been procrastinating to write many a times and this has resulted in pile of subjects to write about. I wish I had written at that time because whenever the thought gets old, the essence of writing is not the same.

Writing is never a onetime expression. I love reading my previous writings and I smile on the words and the different incidents and state that made me write. It gives in fond memories and also makes one proud when there is thousands of viewership of the article which gets published in national dailies. There are different sets of writers. Some who write for themselves and do not want to publish what is in their mind, while some do not mind if others read their blogs. It is more of sharing an experience and reflection of what they think and who they are. There are many who are very precise while they write and there are many who use very tough language which makes it hard for the reader.

I feel a piece should be the one which when read by the reader feels like a story that one can relate to, should be one that one is wanting to write themselves but do not have exact description or words, one that is inspirational to read. Writing is so beautiful that connects one with thousands of people and makes them relive or experience what one has been going through. Writing is so strong that can change one’s perception on and about writing itself and make people scribble their hearts out.